And yes Cathy, you do!

I’m not anti-Cardinals, they just stink. It’s a fact. It truly is mostly due to ownership. The Bidwell’s are bumbling fools.

“What if you get public comments that are critical beyond mere disagreement? Do you leave them on your RE blog? Do you respond or ignore?”

I have a “comment policy” (see this page, scroll past the pic of the kids) that is VERY loosely applied. Other than blatant spam and advertising comments, I’ve never deleted a single comment on this blog. And I’ve been called an “idiot”, “dumb ass”, “stupid”, etc on several occasions. I’ll respond to some of those comments. Most I just laugh at and ignore. I’ve found if you reply back in a civil manner, and toss in a little humor, it throws people like that for a loop and they just go away. It would take something very offensive for me to delete a comment (say something insulting or threatening to my wife or kids). I just don’t believe in deleting comments. The way I look at it is I’m putting my opinions and my personality out here for all to see. I know there will be people that disagree with me, and people that don’t like me. So what? They’re free to come here and say what I want. Ditto with “hijacking” threads. That practice seemed to bother you at Relib and I don’t understand why. It happens. A lot. I don’t see why it’s even remotely an issue.

I had an entire post (here) that was spawned by some rather blunt talk and opinions of real estate agents as a whole. That exchanged actually turned quite civil, with a couple of “bubbleheads” turning out to be OK kinda guys.

You and I seem to see “nasty personal attacks” differently. To be honest, much of what you called personal attacks and “nasty people posting nasty comments” on ReLiberation.com I didn’t see that way at all. I saw it as opinionated real estate professionals disagreeing on certain things. I don’t see “site bullies”. The grand total of “nasty people” I’ve seen on ReLib is zero. You want to see nasty people and nasty comments? Try looking at HousingPanicDOTcom. Relib is like pre-school nap time compared to that place.

But everyone sees things differently. That’s part of what makes the world go ’round.

Definitely different blogs and blogging platforms attract different “personalities” (witness HP.com just above). Public platforms ala REliberation, ActiveRain, forums, etc. seem to be much more inclined to pull in different types of people (just from shear traffic I suspect), and the occasional flame baiter than single stand-alone blogs like this. Those public communities definitely develop their own personalities and “rules”. No one will ever fit into every one of those, and if one doesn’t fit, I think it’s best just to move on and find one where they do fit. There’s plenty out there to chose from.

It is VERY easy to get defensive on a blog, especially when responding to what one feels is a personal attack. And defensiveness is often perceived as guilt by many humans. If/when I get really riled up, I employ the tactic of composing the response, saving it, and revisiting it the next day. Normally when I do that the response never gets published, or if it is, it gets toned down significantly.

One thing is certain in blogging. You have to grow a thick skin. If you chose to post anything remotely controversial or even just something that people will have varying opinions on, you can expect to be challenged, have people express opposing opinions, and yes, even be personally attacked. It *will* happen if you do this long enough. It’s prudent to determine your “strategy” for dealing with that in advance.

“If somebody called you a cat hater, and you loved cats, would you ignore the post or disagree, or prove the poster wrong, or just delete the post?”

My overwhelming choice would be to ignore it. I *might* disagree, gently and with some humor and grace. I would definitely not delete it. (actually, in this specific example, I’d probably point them to my “$600 Cat” post!)

Here’s a comment left here that some might consider a personal attack:

“When you wrote this, what smell was coming in to your one-bedroom efficiency, the stink from the Chinese restaurant you live above or the chemicals from the pet grooming salon next door?
I bet you’re real successful with the ladies when cruising around the Phoenix area in your ‘88 Tempo.”

I responded here, and of course, never heard anything back.

I like cats, too. And dogs!

Kraft bought the team, we got a new stadium, he made the investment in talent, both playing and coaching. Although I still kind of feel bad for Bledsoe, but it was meant to be.

Of course, Brady's a supastah but around here, Belechik is the demi-god.

This is a very sincere compliment. This article is very well written. You are very passionate about the importance of letting your personality shine, letting it all hang out. I thought that is what blogging was to be like, from all I have read…

So I did… or Do… And it works fine in most blog venues, but it has not worked so well in some. Some blogs are CLEARLY more FLAME prone than others…. Do you find this to be true?

I could use your wisdom here. Perhaps you could help me understand a few things? You encourage bloggers to be themselves. Do other people get to be themselves too? What about nasty people posting nasty comments?

What if you get public comments that are critical beyond mere disagreement? Do you leave them on your RE blog? Do you respond or ignore? Did the people who complained in private email about your take on parenting skills of drowned children post nasty comments on your blog or just send the posts by private email as you indicate above?

The reason I ask is that, as you know, I have had some real problems at one blog in particular with folks not wanting me to be myself… It's not really me they dislike, but they dislike the me that has been portrayed by the site bullies.

Posts became heated conversations with nasty personal attacks on false basis that lead to natural defenses, which produce further false accusations – and then the inevitable, "you must be guilty if you feel defensive".

So, Jay… If somebody called you a cat hater, and you loved cats, would you ignore the post or disagree, or prove the poster wrong, or just delete the post?

I look to you as an expert in this field and admire your skill at blogging. I hope to hear some good wisdom in this particular venue which is away from the environment of that other blog. Perhaps we can have a reasonable discussion about blogs and being who you are and handling off base responses from a public who sometimes takes it on themselves to harass somebody in the blogging world…