How Not to Sell Your Phoenix Home

The MLS (Multiple Listing Service) is likely the first place the vast majority of agents and buyers go to look for homes for sale.

As such, it’s important that the agent put good, compelling copy into the MLS that describes the home. I use the term “copy” lightly as our MLS only affords about 3 lines of text. None-the-less, it’s important to utilize those three lines as fully as possible.

Sometimes, one can learn more from a bad example than a good one. Agents, please don’t do this. Sellers, you need to be asking your agent to see the entire MLS submission for your home. Be sure to ask to see the Realtor’s remarks as well as the public remarks.

Below are some tidbits I copied directly out of the Arizona Regional MLS today. I call them, “Lessons in How Not to Sell Your Phoenix Home”:

1. Seller will remove all the unregistered autos parked in the rear yard.
   Note: consider removing the junkyard before listing the home.

    

2. NO WEEKEND SHOWINGS! SHOW M – Th 9:00 – 2:00, BY APPOINTMENT ONLY!
   Note: Having a 5 hour window to show, and excluding weekends (and apparently Fridays) isn’t very helpful to people who want to see your home.

    

3. GREAT LOCATON! CURD SIDE APEAL!
   Note: Spelling does count. Bonus points for tricky words like “curb”.

    

4. Please call listing agent prior to show, large dog on property bites hard. DO NOT let children near it!
   Note: Large, biting dogs that eat children are not inviting to most people who want to see your home.

    

5. OWNER WILL CLEAN UP EVERYTHING AND PAINT WITH ACCEPTED OFFER.
   Note: Uhm, try cleaning up and painting… now?

    

6. Call owner 2 show. Wife usually home alone from 8am – 6pm.
   Note: This was in the public remarks. Might as well add, “Be sure to leave the window unlocked for the area rapist”.

    

7. True gem! Immaculate condition! <<blah blah blah>> Roof needs repair.
   Note: Gem + immaculate + bad roof = does not compute.

    

8. PLEASE DON’T TAKE BUYERS INTO GARAGE UNTIL WALLS AND ROOF ARE FIXED!!
   Note: I … don’t … know … what … to … say …

    

9. This seller is *desperate*. He’s ready to give this house away.
   Note: Look up “fiduciary responsibility” before you give away your seller’s negotiation position.

    

10. SFH 4br3ba 2CG Cen AC/HT. IG SW PT Pool. 2sty, mbr ds. WDR stay. RV PKG
    Note: Please leave secret decoder ring in lockbox.

     

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[tags] MLS, silly real estate agents[/tags]

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