ha, ha that reminds me bout a funny one. Was in a deal with a high price commission. She insisted we pay her the regular rate she normally gets {3.25% + 1.1625} but thats a dif story, She enters a hold back clause into our deal. I noticed she wanted a term for one year, so we countered them on that and set a more reasonable term for the holdback.
After the negotiations were done her clients learned that the longer the holdback clause the more the notary would charge but by then it was too late for them to re-open negotiations. That ugly monster reared its head at them late.

A foapa on her part for sure.

I was one of the agents on this deal and believe me when I say I have never met a more mean-spirited person as I met in that buyer. She spent months harassing and threatening our client. She crossed every line that you can imagine while her agent stood by and watched. It was a very difficult transaction, but here are a few things I learned:

1. Always do what's right and it's much easier to stand your ground. You know, the old "don't sink to their level" no matter how much you want to.

2. Always do what's best for your client and you will always be doing what's right. Our goal was to close the short sale and protect our client which gave us very clear direction.

3. Always work with a broker who has your back.

4. Know your stuff as a Realtor - that's what you get paid for.

5. Bullies are only effective at bullying if you let them. Don't.

There were no easy solutions to this deal - no blocking numbers or sticking your fingers in your ears. This buyer was nasty, underhanded, vindictive and selfish. The cross-agent did very little to move things to a more professional level. That's the way it rolls sometimes. But you still have to get the job done. And that's what we did.

As professionals, we owe it our clients, our fellow Realtors and ourselves not to tolerate this kind of behavior. I think that's Jay's point. No one deserves to be treated this way. Ever.

This is a situation that is hard to avoid. Your agent just didn't have any control over which buyer tried to buy their client's home. Same is true with those of us who work with buyers we meet on the Internet. Every once in a while you get a complete whacko. I can't say I enjoy the whackos, but they do make for good stories that others can learn from.

I like your advice to stand your ground when dealing with bullies who use intimidation and threats as their form of negotiating a real estate transaction.

Maybe I missed it in your post, but did the buyer ultimately buy?

"Sometimes you need to stand up for what is right. If you’ve done your job and documented everything, the vast majority of lawsuit threats, “I’m not going to close” threats, and other such nonsense is just that – nonsense." Well said!

I'm not sure about the educational value Jay. There are often rants about agents and I don't see a any agents changing their ways because of it.

Buying or selling real estate can become very emotional. That's why we as professionals should be the ones keeping our cool.

On the subject of your agents and clients being harassed. We all have smartphones with caller ID. Once they'd been referred back to the agent I don't see why they continued to take this emotional buyers calls...

Hi Jay ~ I read this post yesterday and had to think about how I wanted to respond. You're someone we all look up to and it was a bit of a surprise to see a rant about a consumer penned by you.

I have nothing to add to what Terry says. I agree totally with Danny too. Why were your agent or client even talking to an irrational buyer? Refer them back to their agent and hang up. Easy.

You're Batman.

Love "Failure to Cave".

Great post. I think you are dead on with posting it. I think a lot of customers (future and current) can learn a lot from it. There really is a reason for agency representation, and the occasional crazy will test the processes or push your patience to the max. Always love the colorful way you describe things, and my vote is for the original title =) hehe

Jay I am wondering why your client or agent would even be talking to a psychotic buyer? Should they have not in a nice way referred psychotic buyer back to their agent? Since I pay the bill on my phone I can talk to whom ever I want. If they do not want to play nice I can hang up. For my 2 cents I have to agree with what Teri Lussier says about some of the words used.

Ha :) I think your editor should have let you use your original title.

Currently representing a seller, we just told the buyers agent to tell their client to consult with an attorney when he didn't seem to understand that a real estate contract is a legally binding agreement and that he could be in default for failure to perform. The short story, you can't just change the contract because it suits you. Some "know it alls" don't know how little they really know.

Hi Jay & Dean-

I'm not saying Jay shouldn't have stood up to this customer, and I'm not saying Jay shouldn't be angry, frustrated, furious with her.

Here's the thing: Jay has created a very popular public-facing blog. In many ways he has become the voice of real estate bloggers, and that's to his credit and proof of his skill and professionalism. Jay, your ability to let us into your heart and mind is inspiring to many of us- we laugh, we cry, we think your opinion of Vanilla Coke is misguided... ;-) Posts like this let us know you are who you are, and I think the subject is important. Customers and clients can be difficult, demanding, unreasonable, and are not always right for sure. Our job is to keep things moving forward whenever possible despite varied personalities. It's not always possible to keep moving forward, and it's not always the best thing to do- I'm not arguing your methods for handling this situation. My point was simply that I cringe when I see Realtors use the words bitch, witch, Whacko to describe a customer, particularly on a website that so many people look to as a voice for the industry.

FTR, I would not cringe if you used those words to describe child molesters, cancer, and mothers who leave their children in cars in the AZ heat. It's not the words themselves, and it's certainly not how you dealt with the situation, but it is that those words directed at a customer in a professional setting are, to me, beneath the level of discourse you've created here.

Okay anyway, I'm not your mom, so enough of that. Now, go have the best f*cking day ever, Jay! :-D

Great advice! Thanks Jay!

Teri, Jay was kind in the way he described this transaction. I can assure you if you knew all the facts then you would very much support what he was saying.

Jay-

I have to say it's more than a little squirm-inducing to read this kind of vitriol aimed at customers- it's beneath you- you're a seasoned pro, Jay. And it's not the vitriol, it's where it's directed that bothers me. Yeah, anyway... .02cents, fwiw.

Oh yeah? Well MY lawyer can beat up YOUR lawyer. So THERE!

my favorite line: "Do not however get all quivery"