It happens every summer (here's the 2005 post)… some "parent" FORGETS THEIR KID IS IN THE CAR and leaves them there to roast.
On Thursday, it was 108 degrees when Kyle Brown forgot his THREE MONTH OLD daughter and left her in his SUV for ALMOST TWO HOURS.
Do you know how hot it gets in a car when it's 108 outside? Imagine being strapped in a car seat, parked in the sun, windows rolled up, for almost two hours. Hell, I dare anyone in this city to sit in an enclosed car for 15 minutes, much less an hour and 45 minutes. Go ahead, give it a try tomorrow. Park your car in the sun, and at 3:00 in the afternoon, climb on in. Be sure to roll up the windows. Oh, and no water — the baby didn't have any. See how long you can stand it.
Little Amberlee Elizabeth Brown didn't have a chance. Her core temperature was 109 when firefighters arrived on the scene. She fought all night, but died Friday morning.
And here come the usual "prevention ideas" from the media — women, put your PURSE in the backseat with the kid. I guess you can't forget your purse, so when you reach for it, hopefully you are reminded to get your baby too. Put a note on the dashboard — I guess to remind yourself that you are a parent? Clip the garage door opener to the baby seat…
Dear God, do people really need a REMINDER to get their child out of the car???
This is going to sound harsh to some and I'm sure I'll get emails about it. But this is murder. Call it "negligent homicide" if it makes you feel better. Whatever. I know, I know, the parents are grieving, it's a tragedy, nothing can ever replace Amberlee. That's all true. It is a horrific tragedy. But it was entirely preventable and someone needs to go to prison.
Forgetting you have a three month old baby and leaving them in a car in the Phoenix summer is inexcusable. Period.
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30 Jun 07 3:01 am
Lordy that makes me sad.
30 Jun 07 4:04 am
“Dear God, do people really need a REMINDER to get their child out of the car???”
I don’t how how you can forget the most important thing in your life, but it DOES happen.
I put my car keys right beside my cell phone so I can’t leave without it. Maybe people with kids could drop their set of keys in the back seat with the kid.
I know it’s safer for babies in the back seat, but perhaps we should re-think this practice. It is clearly much more dangerous to forget your child.
30 Jun 07 8:24 am
It is incredibly sad Mo. And as much as I rail on the parents for things like this (”accidental” drownings is another peeve of mine) I do feel horribly bad for them.
Ed - I guess I’m for anything that would help this to never happen again, but for the life of me I just don’t get it. I can see forgetting your baby is in the back seat for, oh I don’t know, 15 seconds maybe? But almost 2 hours??? And a THREE MONTH old????? An infant needs near constant attention, how does one go about their business for almost 2 hours and not ever once think, “Is my baby hungry?”, “Does my baby need a clean diaper?”, “Does my baby need ANYTHING?”. I can’t tell you how many times I looked at both my kids just to confirm they were still breathing.
30 Jun 07 1:19 pm
[...] about children being left in a hot, parked cars. Jay over at his PhoenixRealEstateGuy blog just wrote about 3-month old Amberlee Elizabeth Brown whose father left her in a car for nearly two hours; her core temp was 109 degrees when paramedics [...]
30 Jun 07 2:48 pm
If she was 109, then its a mercy for her sake that she passed away. Once you start gettting above 105 the effects of fever can be quite permanent.
You would think that a 3 month old baby would be so much of a distraction in a car that it would illegal to drive with one.
30 Jun 07 3:15 pm
[...] Jay Thompson has a PSA about *Sigh*… Another Child Cooked in a Car [...]
30 Jun 07 5:56 pm
Happens here every year too. Very sad
01 Jul 07 12:55 am
Hi, I’m reading you via the No Nofollow | I Follow | DoFollow Community at Bumpzee, on the RSS feed.
That’s terrible. I’m not sure about the ways to stop it from happening, but it does happen so looking for ways to stop it seems wise..
Ooh, I spotted a John J Nance book over there, one of my favorite authors.
Looking forward to reading more from you.
Snoskred
http://snoskred.blogspot.com/
01 Jul 07 7:59 am
THis is an absolute tragedy. It seems to happen every year and it is so avoidable. What is a travesty of justice is that these people seem to never get prosecuted. Why?? This is a prosecutable homicide. Maybe not premeditated but a homicide just the same. The law and Sheriff Joe should take this one and make an example of to hopefully send a message out to future parents that they should remember that their little ones count on them for everything including their safety.
You have to take a test to get a driver’s license but any idiot can make a baby. That is only the beginning people. Being a good responsible loving, caring parent is where it really begins.
This is truly a sad thing. Rest in peace baby Amberlee.
01 Jul 07 10:13 am
Great post! I am gonna share it with my own blog readers at jason.landbrokr.com ! Thanks.
01 Jul 07 12:29 pm
yeah! you are all so smart! he SHOULD be put away and not available to provide for his wife and other 4 daughters!! i’m sure he feels bad about this… but just bad enough to feel better soon, so i’m sure the fact that he accidentally caused the death of his dauther won’t weigh heavily on him, prison is the solution! congratulations for throwing stones in a glass house, morons. i hope when you accidentally back over your own child in your driveway you don’t get put away like a murderer and unable to care for your family. god forbid any of you should have an unintended tragedy in your family and stand before this jury.
01 Jul 07 1:03 pm
Malia - I have no idea how the father feels, I can only imagine. Horrific as it sounds, backing over a child requires a lapse in judgment of about 3 seconds. Leaving your child in the car to bake alive requires complete and total neglect for 105 minutes.
Of course I have no idea what the father (or mother, I’ve read she was at home too) was doing for the 105 minutes his daughter was trapped in the car. I’m sure he was “busy”. But as the father of two kids myself, I can honestly say that I never neglected them for a minute. And I’m sorry, but leaving a three month old alone in a car for 105 minutes is neglect, plain and simple. That neglect killed that baby, the same as putting a gun to her head would have.
Of course it wasn’t done on purpose. People that get behind the wheel staggering drunk don’t intend to kill anyone either. I guess we should just let them off too as long as they feel bad about it or have someone they provide for.
01 Jul 07 2:02 pm
Malia - Actually I think that guys marriage is pretty much over. I’m thinking the best he can hope for in this situation is some kind of suspended sentence and becoming a child support drone.
01 Jul 07 2:12 pm
I guess I hadn’t realized the state would recognize the length of the lapse in judgement, thought it was just the fact that you had one. Well, maybe one day you can get your way and people will be charged for a lesser crime for hauling butt out of their driveway and running over their neighbors kid because they were late for work, and those who have hectic lives and accidentally leave their infant in the car for (oh, I’m sure we can all figure out how many years he should get per how many minutes his flesh and blood was in the car).
The point I’m trying to make is any one of us here could be the cause of some horrible mistake, turn the corner at starbucks without a lid on your coffee and severely burn a child, talk on your cell phone and hit a child on a bike, toss a cigarette out a window and burn a forest down.. any one random act could change your life or someone elses! And I personally would rather see those responsible for accidentally taking their own children’s lives, counseled instead put in jail on my dime and taking from their children who in turn will need the same therapy. I just can’t lump this man in with people who leave their kids in the car to get groceries, or pick up drugs, or leave them in their homes alone for days to party. It’s just not so black and white to me.
I think your “drunk driving” example holds no water. You make a choice to drink and drive, you don’t make a choice to forget your young child in the car to die. I appreciate the platform to discuss this with you, and honestly dont mean any disrespect.
01 Jul 07 4:18 pm
Malia wrote: “I appreciate the platform to discuss this with you, and honestly dont mean any disrespect.”
And none taken!
Can I ask if you are a parent? I’m just curious because I wonder if being a parent or not influences how someone feels about this. If you are a parent, did you ever leave your three month old baby alone for almost two hours, without ever checking on them?
I guess that’s what makes this so hard for me. I just can’t fathom how it can happen.
01 Jul 07 8:18 pm
to make judgements based upon people you don’t even know. I am a parent. And I know how hard it is to deal with a three month old baby. If this family was anything like mine with a newborn, I never slept. And lack of sleep does horrible things to your brain. There are parts of my past, when my kids were newborns, that I don’t even really remember because of the lack of sleep. And, if you have other kids, that complicates things. I’m not sticking up for the guy. It was a horrible mistake. But nobody knows what the situation was except for the parents. Nobody has the right to comment when we are only fed what the media wants us to know. As a mother, I can’t imagine what it must feel like to know I caused the death of my child. But I also know that humans are not perfect, and given certain circumstances, we can all screw up with horrible, even fatal consequences. Some of us are just “luckier” than others that our mistakes don’t turn out this badly. Just be thankful that any mistakes you’ve made didn’t turn out this horribly and broadcast all over the nation, and pray that you never accidentally find yourself in this family’s place. Give it a rest, let these poor souls torture themselves.
01 Jul 07 8:22 pm
Actually I have an odd thought about that Jay.
I worked in group homes for a decade and we used to have to do eyes on bed checks every 20 minutes during the night to make sure they weren’t shoving their head through the siderails despite the armored yet soft siderail pads.
Yet at home, both my wife and I could sleep the night and let our kids go for 8+ hours without checking on them (unless they cried or whatever). More kids die of SIDS each year than would be killed in ten thousand summers of getting locked in cars.
That always struck me as a little odd.
That leads into a story about when I was coming home from high School and finding a pair of kids about 3 and 4 who left the house while Mom took a nap and “were going to see Mike at work”. The 4 year old had Downs and was as I recall, a biter. Luckily I discovered them when they hadn’t walked more than a few blocks from home. Luckily one of my teachers passed in their car as I attempted to wrangle the kids from walking further in the direction of Mike, who would more than likely be 15 minutes drive into town.
I wonder what the backstory to all that was. I wasn’t really privy as a teenager to that info.
LOL I didn’t even get thanked as I recall.
So no answers here. I’ll agree with Malia that an instant can change everything. But also with Jay that there is a dead body that didn’t need to be dead.
01 Jul 07 8:37 pm
I was so sorry to hear of yet another poor baby left to did in a car. My question is this: Okay, dad, you are a moron, you forgot about one of your kids, but isn’t mom also to blame? She was also home at the time - didn’t she stop and wonder where her baby was? I think that maybe this couple was far too young to have 5 children at the age of 30. It takes much responsibility to be a parent and if you cannot say that you know what each of your children are doing at any given moment, do you really have the right to have that precious gift left in your care? I wonder how that poor baby felt - did she wake up when she couldn’t breathe and did she cry for help? I just have nightmares about this and I really do think some charges should be brought here. People who cause car accidents get held for charges of negligent homicide - doesn’t thia qualify as well? I am floored - god bless this poor baby and shame, shame on those parents for not being more aware. This is something that cannot ever be undone, ever.
01 Jul 07 11:39 pm
I’ll never understand these stories of neglect. My daughter was born in the summer of 2001 in downtown Phoenix. I remember the constant wonderment and attention I displayed towards her.
She was less than one month old when the AC went out in our house over July 4th weekend. I rushed her to the safety of my sister’s home. When I returned, the candles had melted in our homes.
My point is this. I can’t imagine leaving a child let alone an infant out of my sight for more than 10 seconds. How the hell does a father neglect his infant for two hours?
I know he feels horrible. I know he’ll carry this burden for the rest of his life. One can only hope that this tragedy will serve as an example of what NEVER to do to any child.
I’m glad you post this stuff, Jay. As horrible as it is, people need to recognize the tragic reality of neglect.
02 Jul 07 8:29 am
I know this family and I was shocked when I heard this had happened. My sister lives just down the street from them and their kids all play together. I know that from what I have seen, I would say that they are good parents. I know a little more about the surrounding circumstances than has been shown in the media. But still, I can’t even imagine what must have been going on in his head for him to forget that his daughter was in the backseat and allow something like this to happen. That being said, I do not believe that there is any excuse for this. I have a son just 2 weeks older than Amberlee which only makes it harder to imagine how anyone could not know where their baby is at all times. I am honestly torn feeling like some consequences should be paid and knowing that these parents, especially the father, are going through tremendous guilt and pain. I admit that if I had just heard this story on the news I would no doubt express some of the same feelings as all of you have. I guess what I am trying to say is that it is not our place to judge them as parents. We all make mistakes, granted most of us will never have any this huge. I know that Amberlee’s father loved her and he will have to live with his mistake for the rest of his life.
02 Jul 07 12:08 pm
Hi, Jay. To answer your question, yes, I am a mother. No, I never did leave my child(ren) in the car for any period of time other than taking groceries from the closed garage to the house. I can’t say I never would though because I constantly amaze myself at my forgetfulness whether it be caused by fatigue, stress, or distraction. It is just too easy to pass judgement on an accident. Kyle will probably think of this 20 times a day till the day he dies. Maybe he thought she got the baby out of the car and put her down, maybe she thought he did, and when it was time for her to nurse, she frantically searched for her child only to realize they were both terribly wrong. I picture it like that. Not like he went inside and mom was napping and father was zoning out. I just wish we could all give them the benefit of the doubt and remember them the next time you do something stupid. He is responsible for his OWN child’s death. People here are forgetting that. No one is asking for him to pay for the pain he caused them, only his daughter can hold him responsible for that.
02 Jul 07 12:23 pm
Thanks Malia. It almost has to be a “he thought, she thought” kind of thing. I just can’t imagine the pain those parents are going through. To be honest, if I did that to my child, I’d probably seriously contemplate suicide. I just don’t know if I could ever forgive myself.
Maybe prison is too much. I don’t know. But part of the world’s problems right now is a lack of responsibility and accountability. There is no question in my mind that the parents are suffering, but people have to be responsible for their actions.
My initial reaction of “throw the guy in jail” may be too harsh. But I do grow very weary of things like this, “accidental” drownings, attempted abductions of kids that never should have been outside alone, etc.
Less than two weeks ago someone attempted to grab an 8 year old, just a short walk from my house. (my post is here) There are signs up all over the neighborhood about this pervert. Yet despite that, just last night I saw a little girl, 5, maybe 6 years old playing in a park BY HERSELF without an adult in sight. She was within sight of a sign with the perverts description. How could her parents allow that? But if she gets abducted (or hit by a car, or sexually assualted) it’ll be the same old, “Oh what a tragedy. How could this happen?” routine. It’ll happen because the parents LET IT happen. And that’s what I struggle with….
05 Jul 07 11:58 am
It really scares me how many people keep thinking up excuses for this “father”. There really is no excuse for this crime. Yes, crime. Child neglect is a crime. On this and other blogs, I have been reading replies from people who state they know the family and the circumstances, and if people knew the circumstances they would “understand”. What circumstance could possibly make me “understand” forgetting your child for 2 hrs in this heat? If it is a crime to leave your dog in the car, how is it not a crime to leave a child in the car? Am I in the twilight zone here? This “father” was comfortable in his air-conditioned home while his child was literally baking in his car. Sure, I feel pity for him and the rest of the family. However, I feel much more pity for this poor baby who suffered a horrible death because her family was too busy to give her a second thought.
05 Jul 07 11:28 pm
Please do not judge this family in such a harsh way. Every time my children get upset with me about me having to know their every move, I tell them “You’re still here because I didn’t leave you in bath water or a pool unsupervised to drown or leave you in a car or public place without supervision.” My children are everything to me and I’m sure these children are everything to their parents but I do agree that at times we are way too stressed out from making that almighty dollar and trying so hard to make the most money, have the bigger house, drive the nicest cars, and have all those designer clothes. We keep forgetting the most important things, which is our children. The bigger the house, the nicer the car, clothes and everything else just means more hours away from your loved ones, even though that is who we are supposedly doing it for. Sometimes, you just need to sit back and maybe think of your priorities and getting back to the most important thing - your children. It doesn’t matter how big your house is if your children are dead and not with you. I feel so much pain for these people and I’m not saying that this is what happened in their particular circumstance, but before we judge, we need to look in the mirror first. Haven’t you neglected your child in some way because you were tired, overworked, too stressed, too tired to think or just plain crazy from the heat and traffic, maybe? I will not waste time judging people I don’t even know, I’ll spend that time hugging my children and being grateful that I can.
06 Jul 07 9:12 am
I know this family very well and I worry about Kyle and his mental state of mind since this has happened. He loves and lives for his children! Everything that man does is for his children! He works more hours in a week then the average person probably works in 2. This family is completely devastaed.
06 Jul 07 10:41 am
I work at the same company as Kyle did, he works an incredible amount of hours to provide for his family. I cannot for the life of me see how this guy should be convicted and sent to prison.
I can tell you this guy holds his family values high, and enjoys his family and that he is the one suffering now with the guilt. Do you think the baby is sitting someone where in heaven saying, I wish my daddy would go to jail for this?
Its easy to say toss em into jail and throw away the key when your standing on the outside of things. When you have no personal involvment with the family. However if you know the person you know how much of a impact this is going to be on Kyle and the family.
I agree with most on this board about how can you forget for 2 hours, thats a long time with a new born. Like I said Kyle works probably 50 to 60 hours a week on top of some errends he had to run Im sure his mind is clouded for the most part.
Really would the best thing be to throw him in jail so he cant work to take care of his family. He goes to jail, his family becomes disfunctional, goes on welfare and becomes a burden to society, or worst off the 4 remaining kids grow up without an active father in there life?
I seriously would not want to be in Kyles shoes, jail or not. People will know, people will stare and remind you of your mistake for the remaining days of your life.
06 Jul 07 1:24 pm
You know, I do understand the torment the family is going through and I do sympathize. BUT, maybe this family should not have had so many children if between the two of them they could not manage to deal with 5 children. Babies are very demanding and very time consuming … I still cannot understand how this baby went unmissed by mom, dad and all of her siblings. How did this happen? I don’t care how many hours Kyle is working, I don’t care how much stress he us under … maybe they should have stopped after two children. Maybe that would have been more manageable for them. Amberlee is dead, she is dead because her parents were not aware and did not give her a second thought. How could the mother have not realized that her husband came into the house without their precious infant daughter? Of course Kyle did not intentionally leave her in the car, but nonetheless, he did and she is dead and it’s his fault! The Tempe mother who left her 3 year old child home unattanded while she went to night clubs is being brought up on charges - the difference is her child was left in an air-conditioned home and he is still alive - Amberlee did not have that luxury. What is it in society that tells us we have to have so many children? You should have as many as you can manage, and this family was clearly beyond that point. I think the fact that both parents will suffer for the rest of their lives only begins to break the surface. Where is Amberlee’s justice - what about her sisters? They will never know her now. How are they going to feel about climbing into a car with dad? I had three children in the course of 5 years and I never once forgot about one of them and certainly never left any of them in an oven … again, I say shame, shame, shame. This whole thing just breaks my heart to the core.
06 Jul 07 1:30 pm
Dear Coworker,
Thanks so much for the insight. It shows proof to my theory of trying so hard in life to be everything to everybody and trying so hard to prove that we can do everything ourselves and still have the big house, nice car, more money…FOR WHAT - to be too stressed out to even think clearly. I feel a lot of pain for this family and even more so now, since you wrote what you did, because you know firsthand how clouded a man’s thoughts can be.
06 Jul 07 7:16 pm
Most regular readers of Phoenix Real Estate Guy know that Jay often tries to get me involved with the blog – and I have managed to keep my distance. Being highly opinionated from a very young age, I learned a long time ago to keep the majority of my opinions to myself. I haven’t been able to let this one go. As a Valley of the Sun native from a very large family, I believe that “Durango” and I are paddling the same canoe (so to say). It is unfortunate that life has a harsh way of teaching us wisdom. The world has changed. Life is far more demanding and families are often over committed for both time and resources. Few families can successfully manage a large number of children without some of them going without the time that they need and deserve.
09 Jul 07 1:54 pm
It is our right as America human beings to have as many children we want. I really don’t think that is anyone elses business. It had nothing to do with this situation, he only had one child with him at the time. He works and his wife works and they provide for their own family without depending of you (you know who you are) to pay for them via welfare or any other state/gov assistance. Mind your own business about his breeding habits.
In fact, if you cared to find out more about the situation instead of counting on azcentral.com or other message boards before you passed judgement, you’d know that he was distracted helping a neighbor and her 5 children who had had an accident. Oh, well, maybe she should have been careful not to “overbreed” so her neighbors wouldn’t have to worry about assisting her should anything ever go wrong. But I digress. The topic has changed to whether Kyle should go to prison for the accidental death of his child. Not for leaving her in his air conditioned full of poisonous products, knives, sharp corners and bathtubs to be filled with water and later drowned in, house to party (that woman is lucky her children lived, BAD example). No, for forgetting her in his car on an ungodly hot day. We’re not here to forgive Kyle. According to his religion that is not our job, so he probably doesn’t really care what you or I think. Our job as a community is to make an honest decision on whether it would benefit society or hinder it to punish him by sending him to prison. I’m pretty sure you know the answer to that.
09 Jul 07 3:00 pm
Well, MMMEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWW to Malia’s last comment. I agree that it is our right to “breed” as much as we want. However, Malia, how do we stop this? How do we raise awareness? I know that Kyle and his wife love their children dearly … it’s just such a tragic story - everytime I get into my car, my eyes well up with tears - I can hardly breathe because it’s so hot in there and I can only imagine what that poor darling baby was going through. The more I think about this, the more I waiver - it’s a very tough call. I know Kyle and his wife will have to live with this for the rest of their lives, but I’m sorry, rightly so. Is this enough punishment for their carlessness (however unintentional it was)? What about the distress it’s going to cause for their other children - they will also have to live with their parents’ mistake! It has also scarred us as a community. It has scarred those of us who have several children of our own and also lead busy and chaotic lives - we keep asking ourselves, how can someone forget their baby? How can no one else that was home at the time in that house not miss that baby? Where was the mother when Kyle came into that house empty handed? Did it not dawn on her “where’s Amberlee?” It is not up to us to forgive Kyle, it is up to God or whatever higher power he may look to - but we also have to be able to forgive as a community so we do not think about it everytime we look at him. I still feel there has to come a time when we realize that we have way more than we can handle on our plate and settle for what we have and for what we have been given. I think about that poor family daily, I really do. BUT, more importantly, I think about that poor baby and what life was going to bring for her and how it was snuffed out because someone “forgot.” I have a hard time wrapping my brain around that - what are those poor girls thinking whenever they have to get in a car with mom or dad? Are they scared that they too might be forgotten? Come on, people, I think somehow there needs to be some accountability - somehow, some way - not necessarily jail time - then he would not be able to support his family and we would have to pay for his mistakes by supporting his family for him. BUT, there needs to be some action take, somehow. Maybe he should not be allowed to drive with children in his car … maybe some restrictions should be put on him - maybe he needs to go in front of new parents and give them a warning not to make the same mistake he made - something, there just has to be something …
09 Jul 07 5:51 pm
In response to Durango, how come we, as a society, keep judging this poor man and saying how he should go to jail? In my neighborhood, we would pull together to see how we would be able to help this family. Maybe we should be reaching out and not looking so down at this family. What is wrong with us that we keep searching for a punishment for this man and not seeking to help them. If you have forgotten your child in your car, which many of us cannot even imagine, then tell me how stressed out or exhausted do you think this guy was at the time? I’ve gone to do one specific errand before, but out of pure exhaustion and being distracted with work, grocery shopping, dropping the kids off at school, picking the kids up from school, getting company mail, going to the bank, putting in my day at the office, putting gas in the truck, cooking dinner, cleaning up after dinner, helping with homework, baths, cleaning again, taking care of the animals and just life in general, have forgotten to do the one thing I set out to do! Life is tough enough and remember that ’saying’ - If you can’t say anything nice……
09 Jul 07 8:27 pm
In response to Anonymous - shame on you for putting words in my mouth - if you go back and read any of my posts, do you see anywhere in there where I say Kyle should be sent to jail? No, I simply say that I think some sort of charges should be brought and that he should be held accountable. We all get busy in the course of our normal every day lives - I know, I have children of my own. That is still no excuse for forgetting your child in the car. There is nothing that would make that excusable. So, are we just supposed to sit back and say oh well, he was tired, he was overworked, so he forgot his kid in the car and the kid died - it’s okay, he has four other children, maybe he will be more careful the next time. What is wrong with you people? This is so not excusable! It’s “M-U-R-D-E-R” , unintentional or not. What about the people who get brought up on charges for leaving their animals outside without shelter and water? What about the people who leave their pets inside the car - they get penalized - there are consequences for them - this is a child, people, not a dog, not an animal. This is a child! I am so shocked at how some of you think - I don’t have a problem forgiving this family - it’s not up to me. They don’t need my forgiveness. I am sure that the community will pull together to help that family - good for them and it’s wonderful that they have people to support that, but what are we saying to others if we just condone his actions? I really don’t get it, and I guess I never will. I am pro child here people, pro child. What about the child’s rights? Have we forgotten about the child, you know, the beautiful, three month old dead child?!?!?!
09 Jul 07 8:50 pm
I was the one who initially said the father should go to jail. That was my initial, gut reaction the day this tragedy unfolded. I’ve since said that *may* be too harsh.
I often forget what I’m doing. Yep, there is a LOT of stuff happening that make life difficult and distracting. Heck, I’ve been thirsty, walked into the kitchen and forgotten why I was there.
But good grief, that’s a far cry from forgetting your child *completely* for two hours.
I’m sorry for Kyle, his wife, their kids and anyone that remotely knows them. But I’m even sorrier for little Amberlee.
I keep reading (here and elsewhere) things like “distracted”, “stressed”, “overworked”, etc.
Sorry, no excuse. There IS NO EXCUSE FOR LEAVING YOUR BABY TO ROAST IN A CAR. Period, end of story. None, zip, zilch, nada. Is that harsh? Hell yes. But that’s the fact. I don’t care what scenario you put in front of me, there is NO EXCUSE for what happened.
I don’t know what should be done. But for the love of God, SOMETHING has to be done.
09 Jul 07 10:08 pm
In response to Durango, maybe I misunderstood but I took it when you said about “not necessarily jail time”, that’s what you were saying. The thought of jail seems to be on your mind. I’m sorry, if I misunderstood and I mean that sincerely, because I do feel for the baby, because children do suffer so many different consequences at the hands of their parents. It’s always the children that suffer because of adult stupidity. I’ve seen children suffer from divorce, beatings, rapes, assaults, and the list could go on and on. The thing is, that Amberlee is gone and I don’t want her to ever be forgotten but we cannot go back in time and reverse this. We have to go on from here and hopefully learn a great lesson from an awful, awful tragedy. This man would do better to go on supporting his other children, maybe they need a nanny, maybe he needs parenting classes, none of us truly know what this family needs and God help them now more than ever. I do want to say that I still thank you and Jay for standing up for Amberlee, I guess I just want to help the dad who just seems so overwhelmed and it’s terrible that this has happened. Thanks again for your input, I just have a hard time looking at it as murder because I guess I just have a hard time thinking like that.
I think I read somewhere here in one of the letters, where one of the parents were constantly doing a head count, we need to pass on that idea like they do in the news about drownings and not leaving your child alone in water, maybe they need to do commercials about the children left in cars also. What does that say about our society?
09 Jul 07 10:11 pm
Jay,
Thanks for admitting you forget too just like the rest of us! I so appreciate your honesty.
09 Jul 07 11:01 pm
With regard to Anonymous’ last comment - thanks for your reply - truce? I think we are all just so deeply saddened by this tragic event that we really don’t know how to react except with just raw emotion! I would be lost without my children and I don’t think I could go on if I knew that one died because of my forgetfulness. I am almost 40 years old and I thank God for my precious children every day - they are the most important and most rewarding thing I have ever done - I find myself wishing (daily) that they somehow came with rewind buttons so I could rewind them back to their infantness whenever I look at them and feel like they are getting too big. Selfish, I know, but they are my babies and they are so innocent and dependent upon us. I do hope Kyle and his family are able to find peace, but I still hope for some consequences. We need to let people know that this is not okay, it’s not okay at all - I think a television commercial would be wonderful! We see them about drownings and we see them about drugs, why not make one about forgetting a child in a car? I think it would make an impact on a lot of people, but I think it needs to be graphic enough to etch a permanent spot in the minds of parents with young children who cannot speak up and say “Hey dad, what about me? Did you forget about me?” I wonder what we can do to try to get something like this implemented? Thoughts anyone? Let’s protect our children -let’s get the word out on this, before we lose another innocent life! (sniff, sniff, weep, weep.) I have shed so many tears over this that I am just about dry … I weep for Amberlee daily. My only comfort is knowing that she is no longer suffering and that she is in a much better place that sparkles with happiness.
10 Jul 07 9:19 am
I think a television commercial would be wonderful! We see them about drownings and we see them about drugs, why not make one about forgetting a child in a car?
I think this is a great idea.
I think the commercials exist in the first place because people have to be reminded sometimes to say no to drugs, to watch their children around pools, etc. Because after all, we are human. And while these reminders seem gratuitous and absurd, they are necassary today. I consider myself a good, loving mother. I love my children just as much as anyone here. (which is to say, i love them more than anything/anyone) BUT, I can’t lie. I have forgotten my daughter at school and had them remind me to pick her up. I share custody, and was SURE it was her father’s turn. I was wrong. I have been talking to a friend at the park and 30 seconds later realizing my son was not on the swing where I was just pushing him, but rather talking to a stranger. This isn’t the same, I realize this. But as i mentioned in a previous post, I am sometimes shocked at my horrible memory. Maybe I’m just lucky that it was a nice old lady he was talking to and not a pedophile, and lucky the school wasn’t as harsh as some of you here and decided to call CPS because my daughter was left at school for an hour. But they wouldn’t, they see it all the time. Amberlee was beautiful. I was at the funeral and it was just awful. The girls don’t understand and are confused by this. Imagine how confused they would be if their father went to jail for the murder of their sister. Our district attorney wants him to do prison time for this. An ineffectual solution. It serves no purpose other than to seperate his family and give him some “time to think about what he’s done.” As if he needs prison to do that.
I apologize to you Durango if I’ve offended you. Obviously, I feel passionate about this. I have done my part and written letters to the pros. attorney and DA, but maybe this would be a great place to start suggesting to the right people a commercial reminding residents of Arizona to never leave their children in the car whether on purpose or on accident and present some suggestions (I liked the “leave your housekey in the carseat” suggestion very much) to residents of this hellishly hot state.
p.s. I had never seen this site before this incident. I’m glad I found it. It’s nice to see people blogging honestly w/out the foul language I have seen on other boards. :)Sorry again about my “moron” comment earlier in the posts. Uncalled for and untrue.
10 Jul 07 10:05 am
Thanks for your comments Malia, but no apology necessary. I could not bring myself to go to the funeral or the viewing. I also know this family, although indirectly. We are obviously ALL very passionate about this matter, in one way or another. I think if we could all redirect that energy toward doing something positive to make sure this does not happen again, we will be in a good place. Whether we think Kyle should be punished or not is obviously not for us to decide - we have all voiced our opinions on that issue. I guess I realize that now instead of pointing fingers we should instead be doing something to try to ensure that this does not happen again by raising public awareness. These children have no voice at that age, especially since most of them end of falling asleep in a moving car. If anyone has any ideas, please post them! Maybe we can somehow reach out to the firefighters in Chandler - they are the ones who put on the drowning commericals don’t they? I am going to make some phone calls and try to see if I can find a starting place to try to implement something - I think a commerical would impact a lot of people - even though some of us have different opinions on what should be done, maybe we can all agree on this one thing - we can all agree that it would be beneficial - let’s try to pull together to get this accomplished - even if we still have opposite opinions. Who’s with me people>?!?!?!?!??! Let’s do it in memory and out of respect for Amberlee. Can I get a “HOOOOOOORRRRAAAHHH?”
10 Jul 07 10:18 am
HOOOOOOORRRRAAAHHH!
If there is *anything* I can do to help, don’t hesitate to let me know. I think starting with the fire department is an *excellent* idea.
Malia - thanks for your kind words about my blog. While it’s chiefly a real estate blog, whose main purpose is to help educate folks in the Phoenix area about real estate, I often post things like this as well. I’ve got some *amazing* readers, including all that have commented here.
This post may become my record holder for number of comments. The current holder of that title is another non-real estate post I did as a tribute to a victim of 9/11. You can read it here (and you might want to have a box of Kleenex handy….). It was incredibly painful to research and write, much like this post. I guess emotional subjects like these tend to compel people to comment more so than posts on real estate (imagine that!).
Kudos to you for attending the funeral Malia and supporting the family. I can’t imagine how horrible that must have been. I attended the funeral of an eight month old once and wowsa, was that difficult.
Thanks to all who’ve contributed here.
28 Jul 07 6:23 pm
[...] Brown was killed when her father accidentally left her in the car on a 108 degree summer afternoon. This post generated a lot of spirited debate in the comments. Almost all of us wondered how a parent could [...]
05 Aug 07 6:18 pm
WOW…it’s nice to see that there are SO many perfect individuals, and, much more importantly, perfect people in the world. will all you perfect and amazing individuals please take a look at my life and see where I have so immensely screwed up? Please, please tell me how I can be more like you!
02 Nov 07 8:39 am
[...] We’ve posted about similar deaths before on this blog, leading to some very spirited debate. There was an interesting article in today’s Arizona Republic that discusses some of the disparity in how these types of cases are adjudicated. [...]
01 Jan 08 11:01 pm
[...] my $600 cat. I’ve written posts that made me (and at least some of you) laugh, and posts that made me [...]
22 Apr 08 4:13 pm
Has anyone heard anything on the tragic story of Amberlee Brown? Has anyone heard what has happened to the parents or if all charges have been dismissed? Please share any additional info - summer is coming and I think people need to be reminded of this tragedy once again!
22 Apr 08 10:46 pm
People like this need to be locked up and forgotten about FOREVER!! I have a 17 month old son and there is no way he would ever let me forget him ( not that I would need reminding ). Stories like this make me sick. These people don’t even need to be pet owners let alone parents. God help us all.
23 Apr 08 4:40 pm
There was a guy in my Sunday school who left his child in the car. This was a long time ago. In fact, I think it might have been the first story like this widely reported in the media. It was in Tulsa, and Tulsa gets really hot in the summer. The guy had a stressful job — head of IT for a big company, if I remember. He just had a lot on his mind. That’s all. Even though he was in my Sunday school class, I didn’t know him well, but everyone else did and seemed to rave about his character. The people I spoke to about it didn’t blame him. They just thought it was a freak thing. It’s the same thing with children drowning. Parents get distracted or temporarily forget that they are not the one watching the child. These people aren’t murderers, and they do not belong in jail. We should be compassionate toward these people, no different from how you would treat a person if their child drowned.
07 May 08 4:24 pm
Amberlee’s parents did not face any charges. They traded in the car that Amberlee was left in. They recently had another baby a couple of months ago. The mother said she would not be able to get past losing Amberlee until she had another child…and she has said she still wants to have more.
07 May 08 4:39 pm
Okay, now I am officially outraged. I have been in on this since it happened as I know of this family. They obviously did not learn their lesson because they felt they had the right to add another child to this mix. Oh, and I am so relieved that since she had another baby, the careless mother feels she can now “get past Amberlee.” She should NEVER be able to get past Amberlee, not ever!!! They were blessed to have this little girl in their lives to love, hold and cuddle. It’s not like she had a miscarriage for crying out loud! How DARE she even have the nerve to create another life - do they actually love their children, or are they more concerned with having an army of children? I better shut up right now before I really say something horribly nasty. They should have both been sterilized if you ask me, this unexcuseable! God help us all! I pray that they do not have any more children. I accidently killed one of my children, so let me have some more to replace her and help me to forget. Shame on you Brown family! Shame on YOU both! Cops get punished for leaving their dogs in the car, but this was a child! A child people! There is no justice! The warm weather is here again, I am sure we will be hearing more horror stories about babies being forgotten in cars!
07 May 08 4:47 pm
I’m surprised that there isn’t a law requiring the disclosure of the fact that a person died in the car. Maybe there is. I can’t imagine wanting to own the car if that was the case.
07 May 08 4:47 pm
Anonymous - thanks for the update. It sounds like the family is moving along as best they can. And that is good.
Just a warning, the “she has said she still wants to have more” comment may lead to some further discussion….
As “Durango” said (and welcome back by the way!) summertime is approaching. I hope and pray that another story like this doesn’t happen this year.
But sadly, I fear it will.
07 May 08 4:54 pm
I was leaving my last comment apparent as Durango was typing hers…
I **hope** the anonymous commenter’s words of “getting past” Amberlee were really meant to mean, “they are moving on”. Moving on, I can see — we do all have to “move on” with our lives, painful as that may be.
But “getting past”, I don’t think so. That does make it sound like, “I’ll just have another baby so I can forget about Amberlee”.
Surely, SURELY that’s not the case…
The “and she has said she still wants to have more” comment disturbs me.
07 May 08 6:21 pm
Let’s not forget that driving is hypnotic. Is there anyone here who hasn’t fallen into a hypnotic state while driving? I have been in my car and thought to myself, “Where was I going, anyway?” I’ve actually had to turn towards home because I forgot where I was going, only to remember shortly thereafter and turn around again.
I don’t see the problem with this couple having more children. A mistake was made, and they do need to continue with life — not stop living it. I have known a couple of women whose children drowned due to their error. Both of them had another child. I don’t see a problem with that, so I don’t see anything wrong with it in this situation.
07 May 08 10:47 pm
Are you kidding me??!!! Driving is “HYPNOTIC?” Maybe YOU shouldn’t be driving - driving is one of the most dangerous activities there is and you are being hypnotized while driving? Come on people … the Brown’s have 4 OTHER children … they needed another one to move on, to get past Amberlee?! This is just a tragedy - I am so beyond words, I cannot speak. Thank goodness we have a forgiving God, because I tell you, these people do not deserve to have any more children. Of course it was an accident, but if they cannot remember the baby in the car - not dad, not mom and not the 4 siblings .. I cannot believe that NONE of them missed this baby or wondered where she was, or why is the house so quiet? Come on, this is just pure ignorance. This couple cannot handle the responsibility, nor should they be allowed to. Take care of the kids you have - don’t bring more into the world … and for God’s sake, do not dare forget where they are!
08 May 08 6:49 am
Durango–
“Are you kidding me??!!! Driving is “HYPNOTIC?” Maybe YOU shouldn’t be driving …”
The human brain is capable of multitasking. You can do something dangerous like driving or performing surgery whilst simultaneously daydreaming or simply being preoccupied. Pilots do it, surgeons do it … everyone does it. It’s just the way the brain works.
“… these people do not deserve to have any more children.”
You are not God, so you are not in the position to determine whether or not someone deserves to have more children. I will also point out that God himself could have intervened and chose not to do so. He could have directed a passerby to notice the child, and the person would have called 911. Are we to suppose that this little child’s guardian angel was taking a smoke break? If we are all children of God, created by Him, why then did God not take care of this child? He could have easily given the parent a mental shake, and this would have never happened. The reality is that we cannot understand the way God works — why He does or does not intervene. And since we understand so little, wisdom suggests that we not take harsh stances … such as telling other people that they should not have more children.
08 May 08 9:00 am
DO NOT BLAME THIS ON GOD! God is a loving God. So, basically what you are saying is that God is also a cruel God? Every bad thing that happens in this world is God’s fault? I have a really hard time swallowing the idea that God would permit people to be brutally tortured and brutally raped, beaten, sodomized? Are you trying to say that since HE let it happen it was HIS will? Are you serious? Read the bible man … have you ever heard of Satan? You do know that he is the bad guy right? You do know that he is in constant war with God, right? So, what if someone had children, what if this person killed those children, knowingly? Since God let that happen, this person should be allowed to have more children? I am not saying that this family did this purposely, of course they did not. But it seems to me since they already gave birth to another baby - - - umm, let’s see, this happened in June, so it’s just a little over 9 months later - wow, didn’t take them long now, did it? What an honor to little Amberlee - let’s replace her immediately, like she was a number. I do not understand some of you people. This was a helpless infant. I hope they relive the moment every day - maybe then they will be aware enough to never let it happen again. I cry for the way Amberlee suffered. Did she cry out, was she gasping for breath? Was she thinking, where are my mommy and daddy? This is a tragedy. And I stand by my comment that they should not have had any more children. I don’t care what anyone says. You have children because you want them and want to raise them and take care of them. You should never have more children than you can mentally handle. Why is it that the Chandler police officer who left his canine in his car got way more backlash than this family? He did is accidentally too - why does this society think that was more important than this little baby. Why, he ever went to court, faced charges in front of a judge, I believe. Did Kyle? Did Elizabeth? Oh, I forgot, Amberlee was just a number. I have to say, that is warped.