Things I Do Not Need

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by on November 4, 2007

Dear Sir/Madam

Forgive me my indignation if this message comes to you as a surprise and may offend your personality for contacting you without your prior consent and writing you through this medium.

I am Mr. Jay Thompson, the son of Jim Thompson, who is not a late Commandant of the rebel faction in Republic of Congo, but rather a living breathing retired US Army Chaplain.

I am not residing in Ghana for asylum due to my step mother’s attempt to assassinate me, but rather I am residing in Phoenix because it is the fourth of November and supposed to be 91 degrees, sunny and clear today.

My intention for contacting you is not to invest part of my father’s finances, in your Country under your custody and full management. I am sorry I can not offer you the sum of USD$15,000,000.

But I can share a few things with you that I do not need. Now, or ever. I would be most gracious if kindly you would stop emailing me about:

Viagra
“Luxury watches”
Cheap software
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
A bigger penis
Another winning ticket in the European lottery
Stock tips
Canadian pharmacy information
Large firm breasts

So stuff that in your bank vault in Ghana. I do hope to have your understanding towards this proposal.

[tags]spam sucks[/tags]

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Filed Under: Random Musings

About the Author
Jay Thompson

I'm a real estate broker in Phoenix, Arizona and the publisher of the Phoenix Real Estate Guy blog. I tend to drive too fast and scream at the University of Texas and Denver Broncos football teams. My two kids are smarter than most adults I know and my wife is simply amazing.

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Candace Robinson

AMEN!! Go get'em!

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Todd Carpenter

Jay, I need your advice. I only go to so many conferences a year. For early 2008, I'm trying to decide between Inman Connect, and the Third annual Nigerian Email Conference.

http://j-walk.com/other/conf/

Which do you think will be the most effective use of my time?

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Candace Robinson

AMEN!! Go get'em!

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The Property Pundit

Haha- I hope the post doesn't attract more spam because of the key words.

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Todd Carpenter

Jay, I need your advice. I only go to so many conferences a year. For early 2008, I'm trying to decide between Inman Connect, and the Third annual Nigerian Email Conference.

http://j-walk.com/other/conf/

Which do you think will be the most effective use of my time?

share
  • spam
  • offensive
  • disagree
  • off topic
 Like
Jonathan Dalton

I dunno, Jay ... firming up those breasts might not be the worst idea in the world.

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